Not pressured or rushed

Can withdraw consent at any time


expressed clearly 


No confusion

NO always means NO. 

Only YES means YES 


Consent before and during sexual encounter


Discussed more than once. Confirmed at each level of sexual activity

Confirmed again on different days 


All parties are fully informed.  Not impaired by alcohol or drugs.  Not pressured or rushed 


Consent is not assumed from clothing, social media, dancing, or body language 

Sex without consent is a felony (rape). 


Talking openly with each other about consent and sexuality is healthy.  

Mutual consent increases intimacy.  

It’s okay to be unsure, or change your mind. 

Sometimes talking about consent leads teenagers to delay having sex. 

Amid rapidly changing technology and the ever-changing new normal, Title IX, equity, and civil rights call out. Kids know youth culture what it’s like to be a teenager rn. We learn the most from the young people we serve.

Photo credit: Image posted for public to see at Alameda County Office of Education. Srry, I don’t (yet) know the artist’s name.

Parenting during pandemic podcast

James Wogan – “8% happier” back from Tokyo, Japan.

From Dan Harris – Ten percent happier, check out this podcast on Spotify (link below)

We’re in the middle of one of the greatest tests for parents in modern memory. Tens of millions of us, cooped up in our homes with our kids, as a consequence of the coronavirus. Susan Kaiser Greenland can help. She’s a former corporate attorney who transformed herself into one of the world’s leading experts in meditation for kids, teens and parents. In this episode, she delivers tons of practical tips for formal and informal meditation practices — for all age groups. She also talks about practices that can help parents not turn on one another in this excruciatingly stressful time.
Previous episode with Susan Kaiser Greenland & Annaka Harris, episode #121 Teaching Mindfulness to Kids:!e8765
Other Resources:

Here’s a link to podcast.

Ten Percent Happier Live:
We’ll be streaming live on YouTube at 3PM ET every weekday. If you miss us live, you can catch the episode here at or on the Ten Percent Happier app.
Email address for health care workers who want free access to the app:
Full Show Notes:

“Stop asking, “Why the addiction, start asking, “Why the pain?”

Check out this interview with Gabor Maté, MD, Canadian Doctor and Addiction Specialist.

I recently helped a father to get sober after years of addiction to opioids and alcohol. He said “it feels SO GOOD to get honest…. um, kinda sorted, well mostly honest, well okay there is some stuff I left out because I’m too ashamed to talk about it.” We all need someone on our side, especially if we need to get honest with ourselves before we get honest with others.

It’s bad ass when clients see articles like this in my waiting room, or online, then come in to therapy appointments ready to face their pain, learn, and change patterns of thinking and behaving.

You might have heard that we “can’t save our ass and save our face at the same time,” (thank you NA), but that sure the hell doesn’t stop brilliant addict brains 🧠 from trying.

We learn the most from the people we serve. Mostly from teenagers, I’ve that we can’t criticize ourselves into positive and lasting change. We can’t criticize ourselves out of criticizing ourselves. The trap of negativity creates the illusion of growth and change.

When I was a younger therapist, I would say things like, “Don’t beat yourself up…give yourself a break….”. Now that I’m a little more um seasoned, I say things like, “You can go ahead and beat yourself up, I can’t stop you, just not all day.”’

In therapy (along with concurrent programs like AA and NA), many clients reduce the negative thinking that comes with addiction by 50% and then, when the time is right, we walk through that fire 🔥 together.

It’s possible. You’re not alone.

Bay Bridge, Oakland, CA

Productive vs “busy”

Recommended Podcast: Dan Harris interviews Jocelyn K Glei on ABC’s Ten Percent Happier. I came across this in 2019, and listened to it again with my teenage son on January 2, 2020.

I think you’ll like the useful tips for busy professionals. I borrow ideas and tailor some of the advice (giving credit of course) that I learned in this podcast. It’s been especially useful for teachers, educators, social workers, and mental health providers.

Here it is on Spotify:

Here it is on Apple Podcasts:

– Make haste slowly (hurry slowly).

– Good advice on wellness and setting limits amid landslide of email, text, iMessages and advances in technology.

– Productivity vs being busy.

– Align your actions with your values and beliefs

– Stand up for equity. There is no “neutral position.”

– Pursue wellness.

– Define who you are vs. who you are not.

– Oh yeah.

Daruma – Goal Setting

1. Have a resolution, intention or goal for the year.

2. Paint in one eye.

3. Place the Daruma somewhere special in your home or office.   

4. When your dream is achieved, paint in the other eye.  

5. At the end of the year, reflect on your goals with compassion for yourself and others.

6. Achieved or not, bring the Daruma to the fire on New Year’s Eve.

7. Join with others in your community as Daruma burn together in the fire.

8. Support others to achieve their goals, and ask for support to achieve yours.  

It furthers one to have destinations in mind. Establish new dreams and goals each year.  Some dreams you share with others, some you may decide to keep for yourself, sharing only after you have accomplished your goals.

When I lived in Japan 🇯🇵 I had the good fortune to join a new year’s celebration in Fujinomiya, at the foot of Mt. Fuji. It was there that I learned about Daruma. 

HOPE Mother & Children

Ah’nesty is age 5. Size 6-7 in clothes, Size 11 in shoes.  Ta’noa is age 3. Size 5t in clothes and size 10 in shoes.  Their wish list is clothes, sneakers, teddy bears, warm 🧥 coats, blankets, toys of your choice.  “We are just appreciative of anything we receive😊. “    Shared w/ permission from mother, Nakía.   “Ya gotta risk it to get the biscuit and you give me HOPE.” Nakía is women sizeL.  #giveback 

Paypal Directly to Mother: Click here to donate:

Srry, not a nonprofit so no receipt for tax purposes.   This is just a family we know who has been homeless (they slept in a car), they now have stable housing (whew).   Former foster youth with “invisible disabilities.”   

PayPal email:

#HOPE Help donation as the holiday season approaches.    Every little bit helps.