I’ve turned out the lights and done couple’s therapy in pitch dark. This started when I did home visit with a couple in their home in Tokyo. The woman had been crying, she didn’t want to come to living room and asked to turn off the lights; They had one of their most productive conversations ever. The husband was often demonstrative with his hands while he talked. In the dark, she was less tenuous when she spoke. A few weeks later at the office, we turned out the lights again; I found they were less reactive to visual cues and facial expressions. Their tone was thoughtful, and patient. Since then, I’ve introduced ‘therapy-in-the dark’ to couples and families in family therapy. Many families find it to be helpful.



