As a therapist for fathers, I did some backsliding after I had kids if my own. Before I had kids, I was better able to support parents to see the world through the eyes of their children. 

It took a few years to get jack into tune 🎶, using myself as an instrument for positive change.

Interns, trainees and social workers who I supervise toward licensure sometimes feel insecure when working with parents. “How can I support someone with parenting when I don’t have kids myself?” This is such a good question.

In Tokyo, Japan I led parenting classes for mothers and fathers from all over the world 🌍. We used the “STEP” curriculum. I learned more than I taught, and I must admit I felt a little guilty for taking their money, and lived with an “imposter complex.” I was double agent, secretly taking the side of their children.

The parents brought the experience of having children and actually being parents, and I brought the perspective of knowing what the world is like through the eyes of children, and healthy childhood development. In some ways, I had more freedom to make suggestions, because I was not a father myself.

Life goes in circles, and now I am fortunate to continue my small private practice in Oakland, supporting many men to be the father who they would like to be.

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